LIFE UPDATE…..

Life has been long. It’s been a long quarantine, a long year. I don’t even know where to start. It’s been so much going on. Since the last post, I’ve lost my job, been in and out of a bad relationship… don’t worry we’re done officially, I lost friends and gained some. I’ve been having mixed emotions, some suicidal emotions, some happy idk it’s alot. I didn’t finish college, but I’m planning to go back in August. I got a new house, It’s nice and quiet here but boring. I’ve learned alot about myself and others. I got a urinary tract infection…..long story. I’ve had a ton of bad dreams . I also had a pregnancy scare. It’s just been a roller coaster. As of today, It’s been a ton of weight off my shoulders, life has advanced. I’m not “happy” but I do feel good and grateful. I feel better but bored if that makes sense. I feel free. I don’t have much weight on my shoulders besides my future that I’m constantly thinking about. I forgot to say, I got 5 tattoos in a month. I love tattoos btw. I got a new phone, also which is irrelevant but I mean😂😂. I feel like the pain and anger that I felt during quarantine is finally gone. I still sometimes feel trapped but I think it’s because im just constantly worried about the future and never focusing on the present. I think about my life alot and where I’ll be years from now. I want to finish college and get my associates degree. I want to be able to be successful and happy. I want to be single and happy. I want good friends that make me feel good and appreciated around them. Quarantine made me realize alot of things and made me feel some of the worst feelings but also I got to spend time with my family and being around them which sometimes I feel appreciated. I guess I needed that. I feel like it was probably one of the hardest things I had to face because there was no escape, It was constant fear of whats gonna happen next and battles with myself. But as of today, I feel better. I feel like I can do anything even with my worries. I feel that I will make it one day. I’m proud if myself because I didn’t think I could live through it but I did and even though sometimes I’m sad , I still feel that I can. I just hope that I make it.