At times i felt like i needed you to breathe. I didn’t wanna be here if you wasn’t with me. I always felt sad and alone when we didn’t speak but when we did i felt strange.
You said so many different things to me it was hard to catch up. At times it felt too good to be true and some was. It broke my heart that I felt like i needed you to survive. It really hurt.
I felt like i was no good for you and i still feel like im never gonna be good enough for you. When i seen you with someone else it just broke me in pieces.
I didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t the person you was with but there was nothing i could do about it. I wished that i could be “her” that lucky lady but idk. The way you treat her isn’t the way you should treat a woman.
You said this and that but how come you never showed it? I got so caught up with lies and fairytale type bullshit statements that i was soo blind to the reality. I was dreaming everyday we talked.
Nothing you said you truly meant, you said it because you knew i had a soft spot for you and you knew that you could get whatever you wanted from me with those words. It’s still hard to believe that you love me, I wonder sometimes if you even mean it.
It’s hard man, idk it’s just like why speak it if you ain’t gonna show that shit? All my life i never really felt “accepted” ot apart of this world and with you i did but it was like i was a decoy.
I was just there for you when she wasn’t and when she cane back to you i was nothing to you…. i feel sad because i never really gotten over you, i still think about you everyday.
I get upset when i see your posts… i made a bad habit of checking on you everyday , I made myself feel the absolute worst because that person wasn’t me and i didnt like that.
It killed me inside, you may know partial of it but i was never truly able to tell you how i felt. It was too hard, it made me feel guilty. Ive done and said many bad things I don’t feel proud about.
Im still learning and growing but i just wish you could understand my pain you and I both caused. It’s something about you I can’t erase its hard not to think about you. It’s gotten so bad i started dreaming about you, crying over you. My life shambled because i felt so empty without your “love” .
I know we weren’t meant to be and im not gonna force that shit. I understand you found someone that truly loves you and cares for you. I just wish that you would have seen that i was there for you also.
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